I came out to my family, more by accident then anything else, a few months ago. They have taken it pretty hard, and we have had our fair share of arguments. My Mom went through the normal phase, or trying to come up with some theory... I heard many of them to, and she tried so hard to explain to me it is a phase...
However this last month, it has been very quiet. We just don't ever bring it up, and everything in our household has returned to the old ways. We just no longer discuss my sexuality.
However I was in the kitchen this evening, and I fixing myself some dinner. Somehow I felt as if eyes were watching me, and from the corner of my eye I looked into the mirror. What I saw made me want to cry, but I have not and will not say a word. I say my Mom looking at me from the living room with this look of disgrace on her face. This look of hatred, not for me, but for what she thinks is a choice I have made. I got this stare for a few seconds, and I stood there. Doing nothing frozen solid to the core from what I saw. While she did not say a thing, the expression on her face made it all so obvious...
In time however I hope she will forgive me for this sin, this sin which is not a choice. In the end however I hope she sees it not as a sin, but as a gift.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Howzit man; don't necessarily assume your mom thinks the "worst" - maybe she was judging herself wondering if she had anything to do with your being gay. Once she realises you are trully happy, she will be more positive. And you're right about the gift - we have been together 2 wonderful years and can't imagine why we both went through 10 years of marriage before seeing the light. :-)
Post a Comment