Time Does Fly

I am very sorry for neglecting this blog. I have had exams I have had to study for. Shortly after exams 4 days ago actually, my computer stopped charging altogether. So, I gave it to Geek Squad, to see how fast I can file for bankruptcy.

On another note the holidays are going great. Everything is just same old, same old in my house. The tree is up, gifts are just piling out from under it. My Mom again is in the Christmas spirit, of not just giving, but instead, giving way to much.

My brothers a royal pain in my ass, and every gay man on the planet right now is to. I am still sadly single, and at times I find myself asking why am I single? I would like to spend the holidays with someone, but I think a major difference between me and other my age is patience. I am just waiting for my Prince Charming to come by, and sweep me off my feet. Other twinks just date, and when they are single again, after then a gay man can cook a cake they have another boyfriend...

I will leave you with this post, but I will start posting alot more I swear.

Bitch I'm On Fire

Okay, I went to a club last Friday. Well I met this adorable boy, whom I shall call J. Well at first I thought he had no interest in me. Well after a while we started drinking vodke. I had about 4 shots, and him I don't know how many. But after a while we started dancing, and it was clear he wanted me. So, I just danced with him.

After a while we somehow made it to the coaches. We just started casually kissing, and then after a while it was a full makeout session. I am not bragging, but he claims it went on for 45 minutes. In this time people we yelling, " Get A Room", and taking photos. Just out of pure fun, and then out of nowhere these guys sit accross the coach from us.

They where getting up to leave, and me and J feel this horrible pain on our legs. I thought fire ant was biting me, but no these assholes had thrown lit cigs down our pants legs. Now I have a burn mark on my legs, and it hurts like a bitch.

I Hope You Dance

I came out to my family, more by accident then anything else, a few months ago. They have taken it pretty hard, and we have had our fair share of arguments. My Mom went through the normal phase, or trying to come up with some theory... I heard many of them to, and she tried so hard to explain to me it is a phase...

However this last month, it has been very quiet. We just don't ever bring it up, and everything in our household has returned to the old ways. We just no longer discuss my sexuality.

However I was in the kitchen this evening, and I fixing myself some dinner. Somehow I felt as if eyes were watching me, and from the corner of my eye I looked into the mirror. What I saw made me want to cry, but I have not and will not say a word. I say my Mom looking at me from the living room with this look of disgrace on her face. This look of hatred, not for me, but for what she thinks is a choice I have made. I got this stare for a few seconds, and I stood there. Doing nothing frozen solid to the core from what I saw. While she did not say a thing, the expression on her face made it all so obvious...

In time however I hope she will forgive me for this sin, this sin which is not a choice. In the end however I hope she sees it not as a sin, but as a gift.

Thanks I Assume

Growing up there was nothing I hated more then my brothers. Honestly until about a year ago they really irritated the piss out of me, and I could not say I ever loved them. I guess it is this brotherly love/hate relationship we have growing up. Most of the time we would get along, but there would be something we would always fight about. I am going to be honest as well...

We have gotten into it a few times; normally it would involve us rolling around on the ground exchanging a few punches. One of us would eventually back off ,when we realized who had the upper hand. However as much as we did get into it, the worst we ever did some were bruises, and cuts.

We would always piss each other off as well. Typically it would be one of us going through each others things, or wearing each others clothes. Just stupid things, and when we would be at school everyone always complained about how much we hated our siblings. Yes, there was a time when they did annoy the hell out of me.

However in the last year I have realized this. There is nothing that means more to me then my little brothers. All 4 of them in fact. I came to the conclusion, that almost everything I have based my life around so far is them. Every place I travel to in the back of my mind I am thinking, “What stupid ass thing can I get for them that they will get a scream out of?" Normally I find something stupid and cheap thing, they think is the coolest thing in the whole world.

It has become my routine in life. Get up in the morning and get their asses up for school, and to the bus stop. By 2 PM I am done with work, and the gym, so I go and pick them up at school. Normally around 6 this also involves me making some kind of dinner. My Mom is a single parent, and she is a nurse who works at the hospital. So, she normally comes in at 6:30. I guess when her and my step dad got a divorce the role of “Man Of The House" kind of fell on my shoulders.

For years I complained about it, but when we moved last year. I just sucked it up, and took the deck of cards I was dealt. In all honesty I feel my brothers have really shaped who I am more then my Mom. I really get more of a kick sitting around playing Halo 2 with them, listening to the days stories about what happened at school, then I do being around my gay friends in Mid Town. I prefer watching them do stupid shit, and just like to make fun of their bumb asses at times.

They truly, right now, are the thing that I live for in my daily life. They truly are the only people I would bend over backwards for, and would do anything to protect. In my mind they would be the only people on the planet I would die to save.

As much as they still annoy me, they are what I am thankful for this holiday season...

A Half Virgin Do You Say?

Okay, so lets start clearing a few things up about myself. I am often times asked, “Are you a virgin?" My reply is simple and quick, and generally I state with pride, “I’m a half virgin!" Generally guys get this very awkward expression on their face which I interpret as, “WTF is a half virgin?" Which, in almost every single case with gay men, is their verbal reply. So, I have to go into detail and explain to them my concept of thinking with the whole virginity gig.

My philosophy is a tad bit distorted according to some, but here it is. I have only been a top, and never a bottom. No one has ever come close to even sticking their dick near me. It's not that I don't want it; by all means I would love to try bottoming. From the super power bottoms bois here in Atlanta, I hear it is a very orgasmic experience. Back to the topic though. I have only had one boyfriend, and this was a year ago. We had dated for almost 2 months, when we decided over Christmas break last year to have sex. Well he was a bottom, so naturally I guess I assumed the position of top. It was an enjoyable experience to say the least, but I just have to be attracted to someone in order to even sleep with them.

Wait, let me rephrase that. I have to be physically attracted to someone to blow them, but truly there has to be depth to a relationship for me to even consider having sex with them. I do want sex! I'm not gonna lie, and the next boy that comes my way I can see myself with I will bottom for. Even if I do not like it, I will still have the experience of a sore ass to last me the following day...

Cheers To Bliss

Cheers To Bliss, what a title might I say! What does it mean? I do not have a fucking clue!

This blog is going to be my attempt at bliss, my own little heaven in this world. My own rants, raves, and whatever else I feel like bitching about. Where will this blog lead me? I honestly have no clue, but let me explain myself for you.

I'm an 18 years old, half virgin, southern born and bred, holding it down in Atlanta, the Gay Mecca of the South. I am often at times viewed as an intellectual by some, and by others, a down right moron. I enjoy many activities, many of them very vigorously physical like: running, tumbling, and masturbating to porn. I think the Ellipsis is the most beautiful symbol in the world, representing the past, present and future. Which is why I have it tattooed in my back, for say? I also will sit at times for countless hours looking into the heavens, often time replaying Battlestar Galactica in my head pretending to be Lee Adama. Then at other times I am a down right asshole when drunk, and I am not a good drunk BTW. I am loud, and obscene... I assume this enough of a background for me to start this blog with.

I hope you enjoy the show!